Seoul Searching: Part Deux

And now…the long-awaited, pivotal second day in Seoul, South Korea!

The more observant bunch of you will swiftly notice that title of this entry differs from Part 1 in the series (Soul Searching in Seoul). “Why the reason for the sudden change?” you ask. Well…my dear, treasured friend Tom Fernandez IMed me just a few days ago. He started by buttering me up with compliments about my blog. Soon, I realized it was all a ploy to drop a “this is how I would do it” suggestion.

But…once again…the peons cry for change…and the compassionate king makes it so. “Yeah, it was a really funny entry. I loved the pictures. Ya know what, though? I would have called it ‘Seoul Searching.’”

And so it is.

When we left Coz, Su San, and Yoshea the night before we were told to meet them for breakfast on the 14th floor at 8:30AM. No problem. As you’ve already read, the night before was a late one packed full of juggling bartenders, the consumption of mass quantities of doughnuts, and the biggest (or maybe it was the only?) ceramic rabbit I’ve encountered thus far.

Wake up call right on cue for 8:25…in the elevator by 8:28…at breakfast by 8:29!

The breakfast consisted of eggs, sausage, toast with butter, etc. In fact, with the exception of the salad, this was the most American thing I’d eaten in the last two months! No miso soup and I even ate with a fork and knife. It actually wasn’t all that great…maybe a novelty more than anything else.

Actually the best part of breakfast was the incredible view we had!



Seoul is a pretty unique looking city, as it’s a mixture of very contrasting elements. Of course there’s the metropolitan look to it…tall buildings, lots of traffic, people sleeping on benches, etc etc. Add to that, a staggering number of palaces, shrines, and temples scattered around the place. You’ll be walking down a street that might feel like Broadway in NYC when all of a sudden…BA’AM a palace from the 1700s shows up right in the middle of it all.



The union of the old and new (skyscrapers and palaces) is cool…but what I’m going to remember about Seoul is nature’s presence. The city is literally surrounded by mountains. In fact, from what I’ve gathered most of South Korea is. Not only is the city encircled by them; the mountains also jut into certain parts of Seoul.



It didn’t hurt that we happened to be there as the leaves were changing. Between the amazing parks and the tree-covered mountains, it was a beautiful place despite the rain.

Yeah…it rained. Pretty much all day …No problem, though, we made the best of it!

I have a bunch of pictures from our view at breakfast, but the view from Seoul Tower (the highest point in Seoul) is even better…so I just threw those in here.

After breakfast, Coz and company were heading off to buy materials for the new colorguard uniform (that's why they all came...it's way cheaper to buy mass quantities of clothing and fabric in South Korea than in Japan). As exciting as that sounded, Chris and I had lots of sightseeing to get in in just a day and a half.

First stop – the Gyeongbokgung Palace. As I’ve said, there are at least half a dozen noteworthy palaces in Seoul. We were attracted to this one, by the changing of the guard ceremony they had displayed on their advertisement bulletin boards. Unfortunately, when we get there we learn that the ceremony has been cancelled due to rain.

Rain 1 – Gaijin 0

Well, we were already here so we decided to poke around the palace area anyway.



The palace had been created in the 17th Century and was used most recently when Soviet and U.S. diplomats met during the Cold War.. Nowadays it’s only used as a museum…the foliage, especially, made it a nice to stroll around, chill out, and do some "people watching."



In my experiences there are two ways to go sightseeing. One is you just poke around aimlessly and try to see everything. Two is you actually give yourself a task or goal to accomplish and you check things out on the way. I’m an advocate for option two…it makes things a little more interesting, challenging, and enjoyable for me. I love taking the map of a city I’ve never seen, giving myself something to find, wishing myself luck, and going for it.

The next task was to find performances times for a show Chris and I were thinking about seeing that night. This would bring us to the theatre district, which was walkable from the palace. Off we went; we walked by a dozen embassies, found a couple of nice gift-type shops to poke around in, and eventually found our destination. Victory!

We took down the information for two different shows and went on our merry way.

It was about 11:30AM and we decided that the next place we wanted to check out was the Itaewon area. Anytime we had asked a waitress or shopkeeper where what we should check out, the answer was “Many Americans like Itaewon.” Since the Korean War, there has been a strong U.S. army presence in South Korea. This presence is concentrated in Itaewon and, because of this, this has been a hot spot for off duty soldiers, as well as all foreigners looking to meet other foreigners. And then, just like the rest of South Korea, it’s a great place to buy cheap clothing.

Well…we are Americans…Itaewon, it is!

We jumped onto the subway, where I was treated to this wonderful, yet all-too-common scene (I get a variation on this picture pretty much every single day).



As we approached the Itaewon stop, I woke Chris up and we decided on what the goals of this excursion were going to be.

It had been two long months since Chris and I had a real, greasy, American meal and this area that was essentially a “Little America” (like Chinatown or Little Italy in NYC), injected in us a sense of urgency. If we were going to find a barbecue ribs, it was going to be today! Now or never….No day but today…Live by the gun, die by the gun (what am I talking about?)...Semper Fi, baby…OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE OR BUST!!!!! Come along, friends!

As we walked around Seoul the night before, we had seen several Outback Steakhouses…this led us to believe that there MUST be one somewhere in Itaewon. We weren’t quite hungry yet, however, so we needed another goal first. I had this great for a travel collection; for every country I went to, I was going to take buy the national team’s soccer jersey. No lunch until my collection had its first exhibit.

As soon as we got out of the subway station, our hypothesis was immediately proven correct: If there was such thing as Little America…we were in it. See for yourself…this was within a minute of leaving the station.



You’ve got American soldiers standing guard. But…what homeland interestes are they protecting? Maybe it’s the Nike shop? Maybe Subway? Perhaps Adidas? Were they to keep their eyes peeled for two helpless Americans that had wandered into the country with no knowledge of the Korean language, and armed only with the talent of falling asleep on any mode of mass transportation?

NO!!! WE CAN ONLY ASSUME THEY WERE GUARDING AMERICA’S MOST TREASURED POSSESSION...OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE!

But we still had a soccer jersey to find before this American feast would be ours. Our search led us all the way around Itaewon Market and, finally, to a jersey shop.

We walked in and were greeted by hundreds of jerseys. If the jerseys didn’t greet us, however, nothing would have because the shopkeeper was laughing on the phone with someone.

I had found a newspaper clipping of the Korean national team playing soccer, so I used that picture in an attempt to find the jersey I was looking for. He eventually got off the phone and asked, “Can…I…help you?”

I’m sorry…I need to digress for a second. This reminds me of a quick inside joke that Thaimerica has been recycling for the last five weeks or so.

One Saturday at about 8:00AM, Uchi (Japanese) knocked on the Thai room door (they like to sleep until noon whenever possible) while they were sleeping. Junt lifted his head up to see who was there and, dismayed, let out a “HIAAYYYYY?!” (YES?!)

Two guys from the tenor line were choreographing their feature and needed fill in people to see what it would look like. Uchi wanted to ask for their help..but choked under the pressure. We don’t let him live it down.

Uchi: Can you…help…you???

Junt: WHAT?!

Uchi: Can I help…I…

Mate: What is he saying?!

Uchi: I mean you…Can I help you????

Lung: You can help us by letting us go back to sleep!

So, now, anytime they say Uchi, they greet him with “Can you help you??”

*Now back to your regularly scheduled program.*


O-K…so we’re in the jersey shop and the shopkeeper asks if he can help us in broken up English.

I point to the jersey and ask, “How much?”

“Ahhhhhh, Korean national team, verrrrry good.”

Korea is big on haggling prices, and each time I partook in this activity, a very similar process was followed. I’ve taken the liberty of providing you with this process to help you get through your first Korean haggling experience, whenever that may be.

Step 1: Potential buyer declares the item they are interested in.

Step 2: Shop keeper lets the potential buyer know what an incredible product they have selected. “Ahhhh yes, what a fine piece of dog feces you have chosen…it is the best in all of Korea!”

Step 3: When dealing with non-Korean speakers, the shop keeper will enter the price of the item into a calculator and show the customer this price. 40,000 wan (about 43 bucks or something).

Step 4: Potential buyer looks concerned. I said to the shop keeper “I like jersey….but maybe I will come back later and buy it.” I think it’s always important to make some sort of move to leave the store. As far as they’re concerned, as soon as you’re out the door, they’ve lost a sale.

Step 5: They offer you a new price. “You are very nice guy….so maybe…37,000 wan.” We’re at about 40 bucks…getting warmer.

Step 6: The customer counters…in my case, I said, ”Ok ok…maybe I’ll come back after lunch…there are many jersey shops in Itaewon.” I then took the calculator and punched in my suggestion. 30,000 wan.

Step 7: It is now the shop keeper’s obligation to make the most pained face imaginable. Maybe they’ll even make that sound one makes when they stub their toe on the leg of a table or something. Ya know, the sound of breathing in through your clenched teeth. I could have said, “36,999 wan” and it would have been this man’s responsibility to make it seem like I was asking for the jersey AND his first born. “I will make no money…so cheap…too cheap.”

Step 8: Shop keeper tries to get back a little money. “Lowest is 32,000 wan.”

Step 9: Potential buyer once again rejects price. “Ok, I come back later maybe.”

Step 10: One of two things will happen at this point.
Option A: You have a sale.
Option B: The shop keeper takes on the mannerisms of a five year old whose mother wouldn’t give him the candy he wanted. In each instance I didn’t end up taking this final price offer, the shop keeper folded his arms, slouched in his chair, and completely stopped talking to me. I was getting the silent treatment. One time, it wasn’t even my fault…they didn’t have shoes big enough for my feet…but he just didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore!

Thankfully Option A was chosen, and I got my soccer jersey for around 30 bucks! You can see pictures of the jersey in the entry below about Famous Gaijin.

It was time. We strutted into this Outback Steakhouse like we had been going for years. Two please. The employees were Korean, but their English was fantastic! The signs in for bathrooms and all of that were in the typical Outback/aussie style…they had Korean on them…but there was English in smaller letters underneath.

The woman asked if we wanted English menus. “Oh my god, yes!” was our unison reply!

She was quick to mention the lunch specials, one of which was a ¾ rack of rib meal. Are you kidding me? I don’t want to hear about your damn ass ¾ rack of rib meal. If you have a 3 or 4 racks of ribs meal…then I’m interested. If not…kindly shut up and let me gawk at your greasy food.

I ended up having to “settle” for a single very large rack of ribs. It came with french fries but, as I often do in the U.S., I asked to add cheese and bacon to the fries. In Japan, the language barrier tends to discourage me from “special ordering” things…but in Korea, with a woman waitress, I was going all out.



The meal was so wonderful I almost broke into tears several times.

After dinner we poked around the market a little more before we headed over to Changdeokgung Palace. Unfortunately, we ended up not being able to get through the gates because a.) you need a guide to get in and b.) all of the english tours were done for the day.

We actually could see most of what we wanted to through the gate.



The palace itself was backed up against the mountains which provided for a pretty awesome view. We planned on going back the next day but never got around to it.

As we were standing outside the gates taking some pictures and deciding our next course of action, I noticed that a field trip consisting of exclusively high schools were looking in my direction and giggling. In Japan, high school girls wouldn’t have said anything. In Korea…”Heyyyyyy, point your camera here and take a picture of us!!!”

So I did.




Then a few of them came over and asked to take some pictures with us as well. Sorry Changdeokgung Palace…it turns out the goofy American is a bigger tourist attraction than you.



It was about time to meet up with Coz and company for some dinner (I was still pretty full after the ribs…but when it comes to eating, I always find a way.) We could have taken the subway, but we decided to take the scenic walk around the walls of the palace and try to navigate ourselves back to the hotel. There were a couple of really beautiful parks along the way…



…and some of the grossest stores as well. One convenience store was particularly run down so we decided to check it out. Similar to in Japan, Family Marts rule the world in Korea. I have yet to receive a set of directions in Asia that didn’t include at least three convenient stores on the map. “Pass the third Sebun Erebun (7-11), make a right at the Family Mart, and when you hit the 80th Circle K…make a left…the whole trip should take you about three minutes on bike.”

Anyway, this convenience store was so nasty. Usually I get away with taking pictures of terrible things by making it look like I’m taking a picture of something pleasant instead. Like, for example, in the U.S. I’ll have one of my friends stand in front of someone with a mullet and then really take a picture of the mullet.
There was no way that was going to work in this “establishment.” If I took out a camera, this shopkeeper would have thought her store was getting reported to 20/20 or something. It was so hard to resist…especially when I paid for a candy bar and needed change…I couldn’t help but notice there was no cash register. Instead, she pulled out this torn up cardboard box with all sorts of coins mixed in. She found the appropriate combination of change and sent me on my way.

The candy bar was good.

Dinner was…terrifying. They took us to this Korean seafood-type place.



Ok, sounds good so far right? The picture doesn't look too bad, huh? Second course, coming at ya…octopus. Ok, I’ve had octopus before. HOWEVER...the last time I had octopus, it wasn’t still moving.

Listen…I’ve been VERY open to experimenting with food while I’ve been in Japan. I’ve tried EVERYTHING they put in front of me. Raw fish was a big step that I conquered. But there’s a difference between raw and STILL F$%#KING MOV-ING!!!

In the excitement of it all, I only took some videos…no still photos. So I can’t post it on here, but I’ll be sure to share them with you all when I get home.

Apparently what they do is cut the tentacles off of the octopus in the kitchen while it’s still alive. They then put the tentacles on ice or something and serve them like that. So when they get to us they keep squirming around.

Listen…I have NO problems eating animals when they’re already dead. If it tasted great and it was kind of alive but not really in “animal form,” I think I could be ok eating that too. But my biggest problem in this situation is that I was going to eat this THING alive and probably not even like it that much. If a giant octopus decided to eat me alive…I’d like to believe that he at least enjoyed the taste of me…that he wasn’t just doing it because his foreign octopus friends told him, “You’ve got to just try this little human for the sake of trying it. Don’t worry…he’ll stop squirming when you bite down on him.”

And it did stop squirming when I bit down on him. This beast really tested my chopsticking abilities. Every time you try to pick them up, they would suction themselves to a part of the plate. They would wrap themselves around the chopstick…or maybe even another piece of food. ANYTHING it could do to stay out of my mouth. A part of me wished it would win the battle and somehow escape to rejoin the octopus it was once an appendage of. But alas…I was too strong.

After the octopus massacre….I mean...dinner…our hotel guide took all of us to another part of the city. We found this really cool Korean gift shop and I spent too much money again. BUT, due to my incredible haggling abilities, I was able to save a little. Here’s an example of something I couldn’t afford…it was over 800 bucks (though I probably could have haggled it down to 15).



Next, Coz told us he had bought tickets to a show. We had seen posters for in the subway stations all day and it looked pretty good. It was about this family who all just so happened to be ninjas.



One day while the ninjas are in bed, two burglars (who also happen to be ninjas) sneak into the house. They get caught in the house by the ninja grandfather…and the hilarity ensues. It was done almost completely without dialogue…which was convenient for me!

I am not exaggerating when I say…it was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. For an hour and a half I was cracking up! At one point they pulled this one Canadian out of the audience and onto the stage…I wished it was me. I did get the opportunity to meet the characters after the show, however.

Between watching the girls at the palace take group pictures and taking a picture with this actor…I realized that the “cool thing to (for girls) to do” while taking pictures is do a reverse peace sign, placed in front of their mouth. When she was taking a picture with Chris, however, I didn’t see a reverse peace sign in front of her mouth. I saw...well guys just try it and stick out your tongue for a second while your fingers are there. YUP. That’s what I saw. Chris has a better shot of it on his camera...but you get the idea.



After the show, Chris and I took back to the streets of Seoul. We enjoyed the sites around the Cheonggyecheon Stream area of Seoul as we searched for a CITI Bank (this was very important since we both happened to have run out of money at the same time).





After we found a CITI Bank, we decided we would stop at the very next bar we came to! We walked around the corner and BA’AM…this building with the word “TEXAS” written on it.

It was certainly a bar but, when we walked in, nothing struck me as particularly “Texas” about it. They DID have an unbelievable beer selection…hundreds of choices from twenty five (or so) countries. They had their own microbrews…and then they also had every popular beer from everyplace in the world I could think of. We were planning on staying there all night…that is…until disaster struck…

Disaster didn’t really look like disaster at first. He was disguised more as a little friend I like to call, “Opportunity.”

“Texas” was actually set up as lots of smaller bars (there was a bigger one as well) with every beer on their menu stuffed in ice in the middle of each bar. So you sit somewhere and serve yourself…then you’re on the honors system afterwards.

So we take a seat at the emptiest bar we could find, which happened to have two Korean gentlemen across from us (because the beer is in the middle…it’s a pretty safe distance away). After a few minutes, I notice out of the corner of my eye that they’re trying to talk to us. Ok…that’s cool, some of my most memorable moments in Asia have been random conversations with quasi-English speakers.

First thing the guy says is…”What kind of beeeeeeeeeer do you like?” He wasn’t really saying it, though…it was more like he was drawling it. I didn’t really catch it the first time, so I asked him to say it one more time. “WHAT KIND OF BEEEEEEEEER DO YOU GUYS LIKEEEE???”

Well…he was drunk off his ass…but he was making conversation. So I walked around the bar to where he was and pointed to Newcastle and Bass on the beer list. I told him that while I was in Korea, I wanted to try some great Korean beer.

“What kind of beeeeeeeeeeeer do YOU likeee???”

This is when I realized he had no idea what the hell I was saying…and the only phrase he knew was the one he kept yelling at me.

I pointed to the Korean beer list…and he called the waiter over. He slurred something to him in Korean and in a few minutes the waiter was back with a pitcher of beer for Chris and I.

Let me tell you…I’ve never tried to “casually” drink a pitcher of beer as fast as I did at that bar. He was buying us beer, and that was great of him…but he also may have been the most uncomfortable man IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. He was soooo wasted…blowing cigarette smoke in my face while he talked to me. At this time it’s also worth noting that, as time passed, his face was getting closer and closer to mine…despite me leaning further and further back.



At one point I went to the bathroom because I really just couldn’t take it…free beer or not. As I got up, Chris gave me those most pathetically terrified look I had ever witnessed. I could here the voice inside his head calling to me, “Oh no…where are you going? Don’t leave me here to die.” Later that night, Chris said that at that moment, he was ready to kick my ass.

It turns out this guy actually knew two phrases. The other was, “My friend has always…wanted…Japanese…friiieeeennnd?”

I could not even begin to figure out what this meant. Chris thinks that they might have mistaken him for Japanese…and that his friend (sitting next to him) might have been gay. Upon careful review, I do believe this is possible – though I have no way of proving it (besides the accurate description I have presented to you). So as soon as we finished the pitcher, our Korean “friiiiiend” signaled for another pitcher for us.

We could have had all of the free pitchers we wanted that night. But who knows where this was going? And, quite honestly, even if it wasn’t going anywhere…I wouldn’t have been able to handle another minute of conversation with this guy. We politely told him thanks for the beer and that we had to meet some friends in Itaewon (a believable lie). Then we ran like we’ve never run before.

The rest of the night was fun. We found this pretty cool back alley kind of area with A LOT of bar.



We jumped from one to the next for awhile trying out different Korean beers. Then a little before midnight we decided to get on the subway and go back to Itaewon to see what the nightlife was looking like (though we weren’t very hopeful since it was a Tuesday night). We checked out a few bars and talked to this very drunk English-speaking Korean (I think?) woman outside of a club for awhile, before we eventually settled on a German bar/restaurant that had couches!

Were we hungry? No way! Did we need anymore beer? Of course not! But at 1AM on a Tuesday night in a German bar/restaurant in the middle of an American area of the capital of South Korea...there’s only one thing you really can do: Order a giant plate of sausages and drink Pilsner until three in the morning. And…by golly…THAT’S WHAT WE DID!!



By the time we left our German bar/restaurant in the middle of an American area of the capital of South Korea the subways were long done for the night. So we had no choice but to wave down a cab. Waving it down was easy enough…telling the driver where we wanted to go was a very different story. Fortunately I had a card with the name of the hotel and a little map to it in my pocket. I handed him the card, fell asleep, and a few minutes later (I think) we were at the hotel.

The front desk attendants smiled at us when we strolled in at 3:45AM…and that was the end of Day 2 in South Korea. Stay Tuned for Part 3 of the three part series, “Seoul Searching.”